47. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. 54 Exciting What If Questions - Best Ways You'll Love Fun - Mantelligence Otherwise, we would still be with them today. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. Because if you are, youre doing it right. funny response to are you still alive. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Are those space pants? How are you? "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. 71. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. Were already married, remember?! 31. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" There are nosy people everywhere! Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. 26. 12. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. Im always there when I need me. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. 2. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? 9. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Living the dream! You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Youre free to go. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Average, I think, that sounds about right. Spiritually? "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. Still, the ghosters ghost on. 22. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. 1. Could Be Payday. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. I was actually talking to my friend". Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Hopefully, youll stay there. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? In fact, theyre taking too much of it. 5. 12. 1. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Shane from The L Word? Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Did someone leave your cage open? "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. (Say it like he or. While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Feeling confident? Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. "Yeah, you're three years late. How do you usually respond to the question? Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. Its too small to be out there all alone. Youre not as bad as everyone says. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? What to say when your crush asks how you are? We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. and our You speak as if youre not single yourself! You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! 35. 18. . The police? I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. but it's just so blunt and funny. original sound - Tyren Sams. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. I dont think youre stupid. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. I havent met the right one yet. Because Im awkward and ugly. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. Boom. 84. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. I favour the "How am I what?" Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Oh, what a long list. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! Your email address will not be published. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. Ah, sarcasm. Comeback for "oh you still alive".. : Comebacks - reddit What could go wrong? Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. I dont know. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. Who told you that? Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? So, you changed your mind? Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Want to equip yourself with more responses? 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Keep calm and be awesome. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. funny response to are you still alive (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Whats with all these questions? [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. Try a Humorous Reply when Someone Asks "How Are You?" - All Women's Talk Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. 51. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Who knows, they might just do it. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. 9. 11. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Life is up to something. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. 36. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. Stupidity isnt a crime. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Best 45 seconds of my life. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. 53. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. 92. To text, most of us need our thumbs. 54. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. What do you say when people ask you that? I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Spiritually? Congratulations, sir. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Thats because Im still waiting for you. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. This one is a bit long. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. This one kills me! Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes (6 quotes) - goodreads.com 20 Hilarious Things Actually Said in Court Best Life This one is good. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 83. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. Youll go far someday. Hope you're well". (Explained). Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Liked what you just read? 32. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Follow for more funny content!! The best I can be. Are You Still Alive GIFs | Tenor No, they're prison pants. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. 12. 1. 6. 25. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. I hope you like some of them. I plead the fifth. 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition 3. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Hmmph. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . I'm alive, whoa! Does the new one work any better? If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer.